Accusing gloop nestles

At the bottom of the plate

Your waistband has expanded

The hour is getting late


The T-bone is repeating

Your heart is beating fast

Fatty liver disease is apparent

And each breath might be your last

That girl you fell in love with

Has been preparing it all since dawn

Decades of excess are telling

And the twinkle in your eyes is gone


She bound  you to her table

With tasty morsels and treats

So it’s really no surprise to her

When your heart misses all those beats


She rehearses wearing black

And looking dignified

For the day when she announces

That you have sadly died


So, careful what you wish for

From your loving little wife

She’s been plotting her revenge for years

In how to take your life


Death by chocolate started the process

Which has taken all this time

That sweat on your upper lip

Means you’ve reached the end of the line


Your chest feels like an explosion

Your abdomen’s on fire

You really shouldn’t have had that affair

Risking her calculated ire


A devil in the kitchen

You’ve said it all along –

She whispers, with a nervous little smile

“Darling, tell me what’s wrong”


It’s the quiet ones you have to watch

The ones that bide their thyme

With sugar coated kisses

That made you feel sublime

Her concoctions were to die for

And die now you must

Time you took that fatal mouthful

Before you bite the dust








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