Gorgeous, the teetotaler,

Allah u akbarred his way to Eastern victory

Knocking the cash-for-access smirk

Off Cameron’s face and sent Miliband into a

Corkscrew of self-loathing doubt

How can it be that a leotard wearing cat,

With questionable financial probity, can pull off a Bradford Spring?

Ever the posturing opportunist, ever the orator,

Ever the consummate politico,

George humiliated the status quo