Celebrity love match nuptuals

excuses  jingoistic celebration for a

helicopter pilot and  art grad,

consumated lovers now consecrated, ringed and reigned in,

before tens of millions.

The ivory and white dress! A Welsh gold ring!

Protect the future while nodding to tradition.

Flag-waving pomp and fawning coverage

of insipid balcony kisses and Hertfordshire street parties

while the Glaswegian laments in the pub

with her hat on

that she was much too common for a right royal do.